Before I start, I would like to state that I am an avid apple user.

I have a ratio of 4:1 of Mac to PC’s in my house, and have 3 iPods and an older iPhone in my house to add.
It’s not because I favor apple, but my profession demands macs, so I yield, and to be honest I’m fine with that.

But Steve Jobs has to fuck up eventually, and he did.

The iPhone 4 is supposed to be the revolution of smart phones. “this changes everything, again.” is their slogan for this supposably amazing device. But they managed to fuck up a tiny little feature that isn’t realllly a biggy for phones.

The calling.

Yes, your phone has apps and email, wifi and 3g web use, multitasking, cameras and motion sensors, and yes it has calling. But try to hold it LIKE A PHONE when you’re talking to your metrosexual business partner on how to sell your stocks in fashion and BAM, your call drops and you’re left with all your money in some fags closet dream of creating clothes his mother wears.

The reason? A small bar on the side of the phone responsible for reception is so fragile, that the skin on your fingers is enough to tell it to fuck off to sleep somewhere and leave you without the main feature of any phone.

And the CEO’s response? “Try not to hold it that way”

BRILLIANT! How could I not think of that? I should really have tried holding it with my feet while upside down on my thinking chair everytime I want to ring someone.
You fucking idiot. Last time I checked there was one logical way to hold a phone, and you made it obsolete. Don’t you think this is an oversight of epic fucking proportions? Me too.

But there is a fix. Of course there is. Fucking duct tape. Yes. Tape.

How sexy does your new $1200 phone look with a nice bit of silver tape on it? Girls will be grasping for your cock like chicken to a nigger. And by girls I mean jocks and by grasping your cock I mean punching you in face.

As if the majority of apple haters needed more ammunition against the Jobs conglomerate, what, with the Mac fanboys acting like ADHD homosexuals and the disco-esque iPod ads that look like they belong in the 70’s, and don’t forget the Mac’s inability do run 99% of the fun games on the PC market, now they have a phone that can’t phone.

Congratulations Apple, you iFucked up again.

-Darth Sarcastico

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